It's Friday, and most of us have DJ gigs lined up for what will be another busy weekend with little sleep fueled by Starbucks and/or multiple Redbull's. So here's a little levity, an oldie but a goodie:
Top 10 Things Not To Say To The DJ
(Feel free to print out and stick to the DJ booth door!)
ATTENTION: Before requesting songs, making comments, or asking the DJ any questions — please review the list below:
PLAY SOMETHING GOOD…SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO!
The DJ has to play to the crowd, to everyone – what you may not want to dance too, someone else may do back flips for.
CAN YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A BEAT?
Uh, all the songs I play have a beat – otherwise they’d just be melodies, and I’d be out of a job.
I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS…(insert poor attempt at humming or beat boxing said song here)
Please don't try to hum-out or sing the song you’re trying to request. DJs have to navigate drunken requests, drink spillage and dangerous decibel levels all night. Do the DJ a favor and don’t give them a rendition of your favorite song – you don’t make any sense anyway.
EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT!
Wow, so you polled all patrons in the club and, as their appointed spokesperson, you are requesting the song?
I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT!
Well step up your game! If you have any, you can get laid to anything!! (Alternatively, "buy the album and get laid for a month!")
I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT!
The only people who can get away with that statement provides my paycheck at the end of the night.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANNA HEAR…WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
It's a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the DJ to recite the name of every track in my DJ software library. Google it or something.
HEY YO, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS!
It is not advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but it happens, almost every gig, anyway)! Even if there is only one person on the floor shaking their booty – it still contradicts the statement.
EVERYBODY WILL DANCE TO IT IF YOU PLAY IT!
The D.J. won't…so I guess that blows a hole in that theory!
(THE TECHNO/HOUSE/PROGRESSIVE/TRANCE/DRUM N BASS/TECHHOUSE/ETC CLUBDANCE DJS WILL LOVE THIS ONE):
If you’re at a club or event that doesn't play hip-hop, don't ask "you got any hip-hop"? Just take out your ear buds and plug in your iPhone.
Got any to add? Please share in the comments below!
Enjoy your weekend and may your gigs be plentiful and profitable!
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